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weight gain...still

Posted by: Anonymous (not verified) Date: Dec 22, 2012

so here i am, 6 and half years clean and i am battling my weight...again. having once ballooned up to 314, then gotten down to 233, now, after injury and baumgartner type dive off the healthy food wagon i am at 299. i have to find my way again, out of the obsession of eating. it is "using" in a different sort of way- the drugs are gone but the need to fill a craving remains.

Group Name: 
NA Sitewide Public Group
Step Number: 
Step 01
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About Anonymous (not verified)

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I'm still chained with my own shackles of addiction.

This is my first time posting. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right either. So excuse me if I'm wrong. 
I've never been to a NA meeting. I want to go but am scared to go alone. I know until I do then ill never get a sponsor nor will I find my recovery. Yes, I'm still an active user. I don't want to be. I miss my 14 month old daughter and want to see and hold her. I'm tired of being a slave to heroin. 

My name is ilsa, and I am an alcoholic and addict.

This is my first time checking this site out. I am writing about step 12, because I am beginning to work with others on a temporary basis. I have worked the steps with my sponsor and have had a spiritual awakening! I am so grateful for a chance to help others, but I am finding it difficult to keep them on topic. Our program here is very solution-focused and I want to help them learn, but sometimes they only want to go on about their horrible day! I pray for patience sometimes, but I see my higher power has a sense of humor, because lord, do they make me call on my patience!

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So often we ACoA get caught up in feeling all the feelings of the past, that we sometimes get stuck in what once was. In fact, sometimes we get so caught up in how we used to feel, we forget that we aren't powerless anymore. As a recovering ACoA I have learned to embrace my past as a gift. Because I am an ACoA I was forced to look within for answers, and as a result I found the greatest blessings ever. I found--ME.

Comments

Mohamed's picture

Submitted by Mohamed on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 19:47

I have the same problem. Drugs and alcohol are not an issue anymore but food? oh boy!
I find myself relieved when I am on low carb diet but then once in a while I go on a binge. Now that I am sick of the low carb diets, I stopped it about a month ago. Now I must accept all the weight gains and the cravings.
I go to OA and almost everybody there advising me to start the 301 plan as they believe it was the end of their struggle with weight gains. I am not sure why I did not start the 301 plan yet; am I afraid to let go of food-comfort? Am I afraid of being hungry sometimes? Is it worth it? It seems that I need to work my steps on food, what am I waiting for?

I am all private

someone006's picture

Submitted by someone006 on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 19:50

i totally understand the whole weight gain thing. i am 21 mths clean,& i have gained around 65lbs. im 5'1" & 186lbs. its taken me quite a while to just get used to being in my skin. and of course i still have days where i dont wanna leave the house cuz i feel so fat. but i force myself to go. ive decided that i would rather be fat&happy than thin&miserable. ive embraced the big girl!! i love myself now&noone can take that from me.

snoopyfreetwo's picture

Submitted by snoopyfreetwo on Sun, 06/02/2013 - 19:53

When I was 23 years old and I stopped boozing. I found fast food it was my friend. it was good to me until one day I woke up and weighed over 300 lbs. I got ok with myself. but I was not doing anything about my recovery. I didn't even want to admit that I had a problem. after 11 years of doing this. I relapsed and became worse than before. not only booz but other street drugs. I droped weight and a lot. I looked like I weighed 70 lbs. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I started going to meetings. AA and NA I started to get on the right tack. went to treatment. that helped a lot. I told my self I was going to eat healthy and stay in the program. in ten years I think I gained some, but in a healthy way. to this day I still struggle with my weight issue. but I can cope with it with the support of meetings and friends. recovery did and will fill that void. I hop this helps you. Take care and God bless.