I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening.
I was given the gift of physical sobriety. I did not have to work for it. I though I was dying; literally. I had been drinking for over thirty years and thought I had liver damage. It turned out to be something else. Not life threatening. But it still scared me straight.
I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.
My name is Michael and I am a compulsive overeater. There is no longer any question that I am powerless over my disease, and my life has become (long ago) unmanageble. I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to seclude. I don't want the dark.
