Im G and I'm an alcoholic. Im ten weeks sober and trying to begin to work the steps. I've been in AA for 7 months and have always rushed into choosing a sponsor. I don't want to make the same mistake this time. So I want to start on my own. Does anyone have any advice on how I can do this without a sponsor for a while?
I find myself looking inward over the past few days, and to be honest I have no idea who I am seeing in the mirror. I see an adict, a lyer, thief, and many other horrible things. Finally reaching the point of being sick and tired, and wanting to see my old self again I called my doctor today and for the first time, I admitted to having a problem and to see what options I have. After a bit I found out they will send me to a outpatient clinic where I will be given medication to help with the problem, also I will attend meetings, drug test, and even a shrink to help with other issues which
I am a grateful recovering alcoholic, as well as a grateful recovering survivor of a couple of dysfunctional family systems. I have been on every side of this disease, beginning as the daughter of an alcoholic, the wife of an alcoholic (big surprise), my own alcoholism, and the mother of an alcoholic. Yes, this is indeed a disastrous family disease that destroys wonderful, loving people in the process.
However, I never looked at the underlying issues that had been the reasons for my drinking. And so, even though I had not had a drink in over two years, I was able to still destroy my life. I had an affair. It was not intentional. I was not looking for it. But I did allow it to happen. I have destroyed my marriage. My wife hates me. My son hates me. I have lost the love and respect of the woman that I was having the affair with. I am alone.
I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening.
