The Laundry List
The Laundry List – 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic
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We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
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We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
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We are frightened of angry people and any personal criticism.
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We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
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We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.
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We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
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We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
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We became addicted to excitement.
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We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."
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We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
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We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
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We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
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Alcoholism is a family disease; and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.
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Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.