I didn't know I needed to. I was to much making arrangements to make a daily planner. Just so I wouldn't have free time on my hands so when I quit it wouldn't be so hard on me. Then I started to read that fear was a big contributor to forcing people into relapse. And it all made perfect sense to me and as I sat back to listen to my thoughts , I heard myself scared of different things as well. I realized I too was scared of my fear. I feared fear also. And if I didn't face my fear then I was going to have minimal results in effort given.

I was given the gift of abstinence. I say a "gift" because it came about because I was scared. I thought I was dying; literally. I thought I had serious liver damage. I mean, I drank for 30 years. So I stopped. But it turned out to be diverticulitis. Still serious, but not life threatening. 

Adult Children of Alcoholics - How To Be Happy

By Lisa A. Romano

When you are the adult child of an alcoholic or the product of being raised by one, you can't quite put your finger on what's wrong. All you know is you feel ill, inappropriate; like a misfit.

As we age, our ego has never learned to trust this place we call home, and so--ego grows.

well here goes nothing. one month ago i moved 350 miles to start a new life. this guy we will call him mark asked me to move in with him and i said yes. i quit my full time fob after 3 years gave up my aparment i had this for 5 years. Mark owes me 1,500 dollars. he is also in recovery 5 years. and is 11 years younger han me. maybe this brothers him i dont know. it seam latley the only time he talks to me is when he wants something. and not sex. because we have not had sex with each other. so i guess im just very confused of what his intentios are.

this all aplys to me