SOLACE FOR CONFUSION

Daily Reflections - OCTOBER 20

Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. He thinks himself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all He cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. He is the bewildered one.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend Ed's image of a Higher Power: As a boy he had been allowed a Utter of puppies, provided that he assume responsibility for their care. Each morning he would find the unavoidable "by- products" of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, Ed said he couldn't get angry because "that's the nature of puppies." Ed felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings  with  a  similar  understanding  and  warmth. I've often found solace from my personal confusion in Ed's calming concept of God.